12 weeks out..

This weekend marks 12 weeks until the Silverman Triathlon.. my last BIG EVENT of the “season” and year (just two trail races to finish of the year after the big race). I’m definitely NOT where I would like to be in my fitness level and preparations to meet my goals for this race. I definitely need to kick my butt into gear and start focusing more on my training.

Currently, I’m suffering from super low morale for no reason other than my mind and body are just getting lazy. I love the thrill and adrenaline of the race.. but hate having to prepare for them (every ride is a training ride.. every run is a training run.. blech). But I really hate the thought of racing all the time (case in point.. the OTH series, which I love.. but am getting a bit tired of). I get this feeling that I jumped feet first into this whole racing business this year without really thinking out my strategy. Sometimes I feel like I’ve signed up for way too many races (4 races in 8 days at the beginning of August… am I getting burned out??).. other times I feel like there’s nothing going on at all (only 2 races in the ENTIRE MONTH of July). Where’s the BALANCE?!?!?!?!?

That.. and I’m starting to ponder life’s big choices. Did I really think I could spend the majority of my life sitting comfortably basking under flourescents in front of a computer for 8+ hours a day? Is this how I’m going to leave my mark on the world? I know I’m never going to be famous.. and that’s not really what I want.. but a life slightly more meaningful and impactful than what I have now.. is that too much to ask for?

Maybe I should take a life lesson from my office succulent.. Just when I thought it was dying and had no more hope for life (basking under fluorescents and getting watered maybe once a month), it surprised me with a little side sprout. Perhaps there’s still hope.

Keep on keepin' on..